Updated: Nov 19
Life has a way of presenting us with moments that force us to pause, reflect, and explore deep into our innermost feelings. Recently, I found myself in a journey of self reflection, confined to a hospital bed. It was during this vulnerable time that I truly grasped the depth of love and care my family and close friends have for me. Their concern, their presence, their unwavering support - it was all palpable. And while I've always known they cared, I never genuinely felt or accepted it until that moment.
I've always been a highly emotional person, but over the years, I've built walls around my heart. Like many, my past experiences have shaped my present. One of the most heart-wrenching moments of my life was losing my baby sister to crib death when I was just five years old. That trauma, at such a tender age, made me lock away a part of myself. It became a defense mechanism, a way to protect my heart from further pain. But in doing so, I inadvertently distanced myself from the very people who wanted to shower me with love.
Recognizing this has been both challenging and enlightening. I've come to understand that while I have a heart full of care and love, I've struggled to fully let people in. It's not about doubting their love for me; it's about allowing myself to be vulnerable, to feel deeply, and to reciprocate that love without reservations.
To those reading this who might relate, know that it's never too late to start the journey of self-reflection and healing. Our past experiences, no matter how traumatic, don't have to define our present or future. It's okay to seek help, to talk about our feelings, and to take steps towards opening up. It's a journey, and while it might be challenging, I believe it's one worth taking.
To my family and friends, I am profoundly grateful for your unwavering love and support. I promise to work on letting you in, not just on the surface, but deep into the core of my being. I'm learning to accept and cherish the love you offer, and I hope to give back just as much, if not more.